How to make the most of a session?
It can be a scary, unnerving experience to meet a stranger. No shit. Even after a hundred clients, our hands still get a bit clammy in every first session too. What overrides the fear is our curiosity. We understand it could be scary for some, which is why we put up some tips in this article to help you calm your nerves. Tip number 1: remember, this is not a Tinder date. You are NOT here to impress. Chillax. You are here to talk about you, your struggle and feelings. So, the first question you need to ask yourself is
What brings you here today?
Now you have taken the most difficult, bravest step to talk to a stranger, so what is in your mind? What would you like to talk about? There must be something bugging you to bring you here. The struggle may manifest through a physical presentation, such as a heart race, shortness of breath, lack of sleep, social withdrawal, loss of appetite or libido. Some clients will share with us an event that triggers their mood swings, like a rupture in a relationship, a childhood trauma, redundancy etc. Others may come to us with a feeling that they find overwhelming, for example, low mood, nervousness, anger, frustration, feelings of abandonment and loneliness.
Once you have written that down, then you can ask yourself,
Why now?
Is it because something has or has not happened? Maybe you have noticed something has changed, which is bothering you now. For instance, we may find ourselves questioning "I was very proactive and outspoken before, why am I staying in bed all the time now, so unproductive and reluctant to talk to my friends?".
Changes in our surroundings may play a role in our wellbeing too, some of the obvious ones are the pandemic, climate change and Brexit. There are other changes including changing schools, moving places, gaining or losing a family member, changing jobs, living in a different culture etc. When things seem to be out of our control, we will feel helpless and hopeless, we often forget to hold on to our agency. These happenings may affect our mental well being, self-efficacy and confidence. We may feel baffled over time, but once we figure out the details in the fabric, we can articulate them, learn from them, make a plan and try to move on.
This question also leads us to our next, which is
How do you want your life differently if you were given a magic wand?
Our mind is a mysterious creature itself, they love to replay an episode or two over and over. They don't seem to get tired of it, but it is bloody exhausting. More importantly, it takes up a hell lot of time and energy for us to think about the future, it's unnecessary. The mind sometimes dwells on the past and present for too long. It is vitally important to carve at least 15 minutes to paint your future. Time yourself. 15 minutes.
Ask yourself if you were not staying in bed, what would you like to do then? If you were able to express yourself differently, how would you describe your behaviours and feelings to others? Maybe they can be described as "like a fizzy drink without the fizz", "Rapunzel trapped in a tower" or "Lost a bit of my brain to the pandemic"?
You don't have to have an answer to all of them, these are just questions to ground yourself and help us picture what is in your heart and what is in your mind. Send us your reflections via the Contact Us form and we can discuss it in the session thoroughly. Book your session today and get a complimentary follow-up session.
